I am a woman.
I am that someone that
used to wait for an approval.
I am a woman.
The womb,
the embrace,
the love,
the never ending association
with the ability to create life,
that the society almost forgot,
I have a choice.
I am a woman.
I do not need to give in
to what most of you think
that I must somewhat be confined
to the idea of motherhood,
to the idea of nurturing
the broken,
the unwanted,
the ugly.
I am a woman.
I am that woman that choose
to understand than to give in.
I am that woman.
I am mother,
but I am a woman,
that my definition doesn't end
with the idea of creating a life,
my definition actually starts
with my ability to de
i hate being in this
this really stupid state
of getting jealous
without any sensible reason.
fuck!
i can't even
effing justify why
i am feeling like this.
damn!
it's so petty...
i was never
an attention seeker.
i was never
the poor sulking
in a corner
for feeling i am
not appreciated enough.
but shit!
i hate this...
this evil that is
slowly creeping
crawling making it's
way from my twisted
brain into
the depths of my soul...
i was never broken
but you...
make it so easy
to make me feel
unsteady
unstable
weak
worthless...
i hate you...
again..?
damn.
I am a woman.
I am that someone that
used to wait for an approval.
I am a woman.
The womb,
the embrace,
the love,
the never ending association
with the ability to create life,
that the society almost forgot,
I have a choice.
I am a woman.
I do not need to give in
to what most of you think
that I must somewhat be confined
to the idea of motherhood,
to the idea of nurturing
the broken,
the unwanted,
the ugly.
I am a woman.
I am that woman that choose
to understand than to give in.
I am that woman.
I am mother,
but I am a woman,
that my definition doesn't end
with the idea of creating a life,
my definition actually starts
with my ability to de
i hate being in this
this really stupid state
of getting jealous
without any sensible reason.
fuck!
i can't even
effing justify why
i am feeling like this.
damn!
it's so petty...
i was never
an attention seeker.
i was never
the poor sulking
in a corner
for feeling i am
not appreciated enough.
but shit!
i hate this...
this evil that is
slowly creeping
crawling making it's
way from my twisted
brain into
the depths of my soul...
i was never broken
but you...
make it so easy
to make me feel
unsteady
unstable
weak
worthless...
i hate you...
again..?
damn.
do you have any idea how much
you've been trying my patience?
hpw much i am keeping myself
from yelling at you?
for being so insensitive?
for being so presumptous?
for being so assumming..?
damn...
i love you to pieces but
hey! don't take advantage of it...
i can only take so much bullshitting
and we both know that when i snap
it will take some time before i can
calm down...
gawd!
be thankful you are not feeling well...
tsk...
whoah!
i can't even start this journal because i really...seriously can't calm down.
i so want to shout unappropriate words...
throw things...
smash your fucking face off that wall..
make you bleed..
make you feel sorry for doing something stupid...
damn!
hey..dont take this personaly..well..fuck it! take it as you like, i couldn't care less...
i.just.want.you.to.stay.out.of.my.personal.life.
how on earth can you really expect me to make you part of my world when you can't even do your job right?
what makes you think that i'll be including you in my life when you can't even do something good for yourself...
don't start saying you'
see, i am just a kiss away.for now. but later, in a few hours, i wont be with my beybi anymore.
and i doubt if i'll be seeing my beybi again on Sunday. but i am hoping i'll she'll be there at the airport on the 18th.
i so want to take her with me in Dubai. i so want not to leave. it pains me...
i am so used to be with her almost everyday.
i am so used on seeing her face after i wake up and seeing her, kissing her before i sleep..
damn...
the long distance will kill me. i am certain of that.